Realization of Change & Self-Reflection

Hello Everyone!

In last week’s post, I announced that I accepted a job offer in Nashville, and that I will be moving their next month. While things are still under-wrap I still planning and sorting out my future. This has been the biggest reality check for me, was the idea of a “fresh” start. Not saying my life currently is bad, I actually live a very happy, and full-filling life, however things need to change in order for me to progress as a person.

In the last week I had a lot of self-reflection. I was visiting one of my oldest and my first best friend from middle school, as we caught up on old times and felt like nothing has changed between our friendship. It was also a reminder of my middle school and high school days, were I was never cool, popular, or even really fit in with the crowd. I always felt I was an outsider looking in.

Last night as I was cleaning out, organizing and packing, I discovered old photographs of me from ages about nine to about sixteen, seventeen. A time in my life, where I was lost because I was always comparing myself to others, and trying so hard to fit in. It was weirdly sad to look at this photos, but also a helpful reminder of how far I came. And bless the day, where I stopped wearing tank tops under t-shirts, and jelly bracelets.

Next month will be the ten year anniversary, of me almost doing something unthinkable due to a classmates words, who I always have written about on my blog multiply times. And I say it’s an anniversary, because I am celebrating my life. I am celebrating the fact I am a survivor, and I write to help others know that it’s okay to be broken. For the kids that felt like misfits, geeks, dorks, or just didn’t like how they looked, we were meant for this world, we belong in this world, we are enough. You are enough.

There is more to come, and do as we continue to grow. Never look down upon your past, it has only help you be a better person.


Tory Lava

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