Toxic Relationships & Friendships

I have had my fair share of toxic relationships and friendships. It can be difficult to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or even cancel your BFF. However it’s important to live your best life, and if you have a toxic energy lingering around you whether it’s a boyfriend, girlfriend or a friend, you are allowed to call it quits, if it betters yourself.

It is okay to walk away from someone if you feel they are mistreating you. It doesn’t matter how long you have known this person or even if you love them! If they are not making you happy, you need to make happiness for yourself. It is going to be hard at first, because you are used to their company, however, in the long run, you will come out stronger, better, and happier!

I dated someone who would always bring me down. He would always yell at me because he was jealous and had a lot of insecurities over the fact I had male friends, or I wouldn’t include him in my plans when it was just a girls night. I would always make excuses for him saying, no it’s love, he just wants to be a part of my life, but in reality, I was always anxious and upset all the time! I would cry almost every single day because I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know that I could just break up with someone. When he knew that he messed up, he would buy his way back into my life through presents, such as flowers and we would move on. He never physically abused me or hurt me in that matter, but the emotional abuse was just as horrible. No one should ever cry because their significant other was being mean to them, because that is not loved! Finally, when I put my big girl pants on, I called it quits with him and walked away, and it was one of the best days of my life. I felt free and control of my life again!

I had made many friends throughout my life who I no longer have contact with because I do not want them to be apart of my life and I do not want to be apart of theirs. Running into these people it can be awkward and to be honest when I see them out in public I try to avoid them. But friends go the same way as a partner in a relationship, you don’t have to be friends with someone who is mistreating you!

Once in college, I was friendly with these two girls but turns out they were being fake nice to me. I realize that after I would try to make plans with them to meet up after class, they would ignore me, then post on social media that they were in my town. Great, thanks for the invite ladies. After that I realized, I do not need to waste my time with people who are not going to give me the time of day!

In middle school, I was very close to someone, and we would hang out almost every weekend, but out of no where one day she just kept calling me names, like “stupid”, “idiot”, she would tell me I would suck at something we would be doing, and would always brag about which boy liked her. I just told myself, I don’t need to be friends with someone like this! Slowly backing away from our friendship, was the right move for me.

Regardless of what your relationship is with someone, you need to put yourself first. Notice the signs, of how people treat you. Ending relationships is difficult because you never want to come off as mean, but putting yourself first is always the right thing to do for yourself and your mental health. Overall be kind to one another! If you end something with someone, you do it on your own healthy terms, you are in control of your own life. Sometimes it’s better to be alone, than in bad company.

xoxo,

Tory Lava

 

 

One comment

  1. This is beautifully put! I recently ended a multiple year friendship that started out so magical. But after she stopped answered my calls and continued to cancel plans it was clear how much I meant to her. And now I am making girlfriends like Tory out the WAZOO. You gotta let go to grow. Don’t let people that aren’t there for you linger in your life. AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. You’ll be better off!

    Liked by 1 person

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