I’ve been cleaning out my Facebook page of photos, deleting photos that are just a bit embarrassing, low quality, or just plain awkward. Some photos remind me of simpler times, but others photos with ex-boyfriends or former friends just make me feel awkward. But I still like to look at photos both good and bad because photos remind myself of the growth I have done, and all of the many things I have accomplished.
Other than being a cheerleader in high school, I was not very socially active with my peers. I sort of always did my own thing, because I felt like the odd girl out. No matter how hard I tried I just felt I never clicked with a lot of people. Some were just downright mean to me and others I can feel that “fake niceness” from that, but I think that comes from me being an empath. I picked up on vibes really well in high school and after a year or two of trying to make everyone happy, I realized I wasn’t happy and I can’t change into someone I am not.
I stuck with what I liked and that was going to concerts with my closest friends (the real ones). Most of my favorite memories from 2009-2013 had to do with concerts or music festivals. I felt more connected and welcomed with strangers at a show, than my own classmates.
Because I loved going to these shows, it lead me to do some cool things as a teenager from the time I was about 14-18 years old. I was an active street team member for both musical artists and venues. I had my own “vlog” that lead me to interview really talented people and even my favorite band! I was managing a hip-hop artist, booking him shows and getting him press, which helped me down the line fall in love with public relations (which is what I do full time now)! I traveled all over New York, New Jersey, and even Massachusetts to be the merch girl for national touring acts. It was a really cool time in my life, but that part of my life is sort of over.
I do have opportunities pop up from time to time, where its helping book a show, run someone’s merch table or taking photos at a concert, but this is what I want to do full time anymore.
I think in order to change whether its looks, style, image, career, friends, anything really you have to want to change. I wanted to change in high school, I wanted to change in college, and now I’m at a point in my life where I want to change where I can continue to grow and expand as a person. I want my change to be for the positive and for the better now only for myself but for others.